syuroffBy "pairs", does that mean a pair in each bank, where a "bank" is the group of 6 slots on each side?
There are two lanes, one for each CPU. The 6 slots for CPU 1 are a lane and the 6 slots for CPU 2 are a lane. There are two banks in each lane. Slots 1,2,3 are one bank and slots 4,5,6 are the other bank. You need to install in pairs within a bank, but because you are running two CPUs and each lane has to be identical you need two in the matching bank in the other lane. This means that yes you need to install DIMMs 4 at a time at minimum when using dual CPUs.
syuroffHow do I query the DIMMS for their registered/unregistered/buffered status? Server(s) are running XenServer, FWIW.
I'm not very familiar with Xen. You can try dmidecode --type memory. That will usually show the part number. You can use the part number to find details about the DIMM online. If that doesn't work then you can send me a private message with the service tag and I will check.
Thanks